Time and again

No more vomits since 2 days. Have some things to do and write due to commitments made in the past and refering to the future. Sitting in between watching the breath and the fleeting moments of living pass by.

In the evening, body swaying back and forth in the rhythm of the heart beat. Funny, the bones of the colon vertebral start to shine while dancing like seagrass in the waves of the ocean, causing the matter around them to form little swirls.

‚enjoying, enjoying’… ’seeing, seeing, …’thinking, thinking’…

Swirls in time, and space. Time is a mental construct, that out of ignorance we want to go from past to future, allowing a present that we forget to attend to. But time is not like that. When in pain, it feels like that, because the heavy material of the body is bound by the forces of nature. Otherwise time and space can be infinite possibilities of everything. Just usually, we don’t know because not only is our matter heavy but also the mind so limited that all we can see of time and space – if we’re lucky, is now. This we can know.

Can’t really get sankhar upekkha, the equanimity about formations.